Day 5: Character Board

Before anything else, just a short update from my task on Day 4 first. Haha, out of 12, I was only able to do 2! Ironed the newly-washed clothes for my mother and cleaned our house. Sad, right? Sadder is the fact that I am still on Day 5 out of 11 tasks! Sheessshh. Well, I am back now.

The task for Day 5 is kind of exciting! It involves pictures. Weee... (Sorry, just feeling like I want to be child-like today)!

First, I have to identify the five core ideal traits that my ideal self possesses. Hmm.. that would be as follows (in no particular order):

• LOVE unconditionally
• PASSIONATE in pursuing the path to EXCELLENCE
• GRATEFUL in every circumstance
• HAPPY. Just HAPPY.
• CONFIDENT of myself and His plans for me

Now, I'm just going to look for images that would stand for these things... and TADA! I can't figure out how to transfer the picture below this text so please refer to the one on top of this post. =) All pictures were taken from various sites through Google.

Well, it's not everything that I hope it would be but it's very close. Right? Well, it makes me hopeful whenever I see it. Someday... =)

11/365: hey there, bright side!

The story:

For the past few days, I have not been feeling well. Fever is just around the corner waiting for the next day that sleep proves to be scarce again. Not only that, a lot of mixed emotions about a lot of things have been bothering me. Today, I did not feel like going to school and I did not want to work on anything listed down on my "to-do" list but decided against the feelings anyway.

As I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. But as soon as I entered the door, my mama told me it's my inaanak's birthday (and I forgot to buy a present) and we were invited to eat dinner at their house. My inaanak is the daughter of my closest friend in our neighborhood. Both of them have a very special place in my heart. Dinner at their house reminded me why I chose to wait for the right time and the right person instead of just hopping on with the trend of textmates and blind dates that parade society today. I'd rather be single than be an unfit wife and an irresponsible mother. I never understood what my friend saw in that guy who happened to be her child's father. She didn't deserve him. I wish she was with someone better...someone who would treat her better...someone who would strive to be better for her and for their child. I am in no position to make judgments because I have my own share of imperfections too. I just pray that he grows up soon enough to see that life has given him a family worth striving for. I felt sad for him for I felt that he didn't see the great blessings he has right in front of him.

At the same time, I felt a little sad for myself too. Like him, I have been acting ungrateful. I have been overlooking the wonderful blessings the Lord has graciously filled my life despite my shortcomings. True enough, God is never late for that needed reminder.

As soon as I got home, I received news that my cousin, Jae, just passed the December 2010 Nursing Licensure Exam! Wohoo! We've got an RN in the family and it felt so great! In reflection though, I think it'd be greater if it didn't take the board exam results for me to remember that God is good all the time.. and that His plans are ALWAYS better than that of our own. Thank you, Father. <3

P.S. And I hope it's not too late... Happy Valentine's Day, world! =)

P.S. 2: The shot:http://marinshe.deviantart.com/art/The-Bright-Side-of-Life-118961703

new year? new year.

I came home late today from a meeting with AYLA-Bai. After encoding two examinations, I decided to allow myself to get lost in the internet for a while and I ended up reading through my multiply account blog entries. I remembered how I felt writing each entry and I had the urge to write one entry now.

Our clock tells me it's 12:40 AM and in a few hours, I will facing four different classes, attending a novena mass in Sto. Niño, sitting in a faculty meeting and meeting a friend after work. It is natural for me to have an entire day planned ahead even before I get out of bed. I can be a control freak at times. Though I pride myself as someone who is emotionally stable, there are times that I doubt if I truly am. But that's another issue. =)

It's 2011 and everywhere I look, I am reminded that a new year has been ushered in. Inevitably, every new year demands of me to look back on the year that 'was' and I can't help but look back with gratitude. I have changed. Circumstances have changed. The year brought me laughter, tears, successes, failures, joys, pains and all the other contradictions that one can possibly fit in a year but these things have made me who I am today and have led me where I am today. And honestly speaking, I LOVE the person that I AM and the place where I AM.

Every year is a journey and if it weren't for the 365-day rule, the day after December 31,2010 could have been just another 'tomorrow' but it wasn't. I believe it's God's way of pushing us forward... leading us on to something which is much better than what we once had. It is His reminder that we can start again... if we wanted to.

So today, I say welcome 2011! (hang-over from the welcome video we did for AYLC 2011) And instead of me being ready for the year, I dare say... watch out 2011, here I come! =)

random thoughts

I spent most of the day packing our things and getting ready for the long-awaited trip home. We realized that we were planning to bring more than the allowable weight allocated for each traveler and so the other things need to be shipped in a package. It is scheduled to arrive a few weeks after. The task was very tiring but in the end, the experience has allowed me to reflect on certain things.

First, I realized that a balikbayan box contain more than just material things. It is love and I believe, "I miss yous" left unspoken. With two aunts living abroad for quite some time now, I have gotten used to opening these boxes and receiving the gifts they contain to the point that it seemed part of an annual family routine that everyone participates in. Seeing my Auntie Catel pack this box made me realize that it is not easy to fit all those things inside a box. It entails a certain technique as she would say. One has to make sure that no space is left empty and that requires a lot of arranging and rearranging. It also entails checking and rechecking that all the nephews and nieces actually get something, no matter how small it may seem. I am reminded to be more grateful and to express that gratitude more sincerely than I used to. She may not admit it but I know she misses us, her family in the Philippines, and wish at times that she would be there to give it personally.

Secondly, I learned that there is always a price to pay for excess baggage. I see that it is but wise that we travel light at all times whether in trips or in life itself. As I look back in the school year that was and look forward for the school year that will be, I ask myself if I am ready.I feel my shoulders drop at some point and a weary sigh follows not long after. Sometimes, it is the very price you pray for bringing along so much.. too much.

Lastly, I have come to reflect that I have made plans all my life but Life has constantly revealed other plans for me. These plans involve not only great joys and successes but also great sorrows and failures. I have walked through life believing that His plans are always greater even when I don't understand why. However, human as I am, anxiety sets in.I have been anxious for quite some time now because there have been a lot of things that are not going according to MY plans. I believe this anxiety is caused by the excess baggage I refuse to leave behind for fear that I might lose all control and my goals will be left unmet. I stare at these baggages and fears and feel that I lack the courage to let them go. I have been trying...and failing. But then again...

On this day, God wants you to know...
... that a new beginning is always possible. Let the greening of the Earth in springtime be a sign for you that a new beginning is always possible, even after the longest, coldest, darkest winter.

...a message of hope always comes to me when I need it the most. I can always try again, right? I don't want to go through life paying for excess baggage and I pray that I may let them go slowly... one day at the time until the Winter passes through and Spring comes to welcome me with a smile. Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that may come from packing random things or signing in on Facebook. HAHA! :p

Thank you, Lord. :D