I spent most of the day packing our things and getting ready for the long-awaited trip home. We realized that we were planning to bring more than the allowable weight allocated for each traveler and so the other things need to be shipped in a package. It is scheduled to arrive a few weeks after. The task was very tiring but in the end, the experience has allowed me to reflect on certain things.
First, I realized that a balikbayan box contain more than just material things. It is love and I believe, "I miss yous" left unspoken. With two aunts living abroad for quite some time now, I have gotten used to opening these boxes and receiving the gifts they contain to the point that it seemed part of an annual family routine that everyone participates in. Seeing my Auntie Catel pack this box made me realize that it is not easy to fit all those things inside a box. It entails a certain technique as she would say. One has to make sure that no space is left empty and that requires a lot of arranging and rearranging. It also entails checking and rechecking that all the nephews and nieces actually get something, no matter how small it may seem. I am reminded to be more grateful and to express that gratitude more sincerely than I used to. She may not admit it but I know she misses us, her family in the Philippines, and wish at times that she would be there to give it personally.
Secondly, I learned that there is always a price to pay for excess baggage. I see that it is but wise that we travel light at all times whether in trips or in life itself. As I look back in the school year that was and look forward for the school year that will be, I ask myself if I am ready.I feel my shoulders drop at some point and a weary sigh follows not long after. Sometimes, it is the very price you pray for bringing along so much.. too much.
Lastly, I have come to reflect that I have made plans all my life but Life has constantly revealed other plans for me. These plans involve not only great joys and successes but also great sorrows and failures. I have walked through life believing that His plans are always greater even when I don't understand why. However, human as I am, anxiety sets in.I have been anxious for quite some time now because there have been a lot of things that are not going according to MY plans. I believe this anxiety is caused by the excess baggage I refuse to leave behind for fear that I might lose all control and my goals will be left unmet. I stare at these baggages and fears and feel that I lack the courage to let them go. I have been trying...and failing. But then again...
On this day, God wants you to know...
... that a new beginning is always possible. Let the greening of the Earth in springtime be a sign for you that a new beginning is always possible, even after the longest, coldest, darkest winter.
...a message of hope always comes to me when I need it the most. I can always try again, right? I don't want to go through life paying for excess baggage and I pray that I may let them go slowly... one day at the time until the Winter passes through and Spring comes to welcome me with a smile. Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that may come from packing random things or signing in on Facebook. HAHA! :p
Thank you, Lord. :D
