10/365: midterm evaluation

No, I don't mean the written exams students take halfway through the semester. I have this 'tradition' in my classes where students get to tell me what they want me to 'continue' doing, 'stop' doing and 'start' doing in class so that I may help them learn more and learn better. I do know that I am a young, idealistic and new so I recognize that the room for improvement is quite big. I take a deep breath and go through the sheets written by my students every midterm.

The shot:

I summarize the comments in my blue notebook and I share them to class after we check the midterm exam papers so that I may verify the things that they have written down. Out of the papers they gave me, I saved three. The picture shows two of those papers because the other one has been cut out and pasted on my planner. Talk about sentimental. Haha

The story:

There are days when work takes its toll on me. I love teaching, my university and my students. Really, I do. But, I am human and with four preparations this semester with eight classes all in all with students ranging from 12-50 in each (+ the upcoming Accreditation and my 3 classes for Masters), I think I have the right to say that I am tired. Yesterday was one of those days. Despite the fact that work was and is draining all my energy for the day, I can't help but smile as I read through what my students have written down. I do take my evaluation seriously and it's simply because I believe that teaching effectiveness boils down to the students. The moment we do not take our students' feedback into account, I think that's the time we start asking ourselves what we are doing in the field. (Others have their reasons why they believe otherwise and I respect that, too.)

I am pretty sure that there are those who did not take the activity seriously and there are those who wrote down what their seatmates wrote down but let God be the judge of who's who. I am not sure also if the comments were honestly written or intentionally written just to make me feel good but please just let me indulge myself. These are some of the messages my students included in their evaluation that might just get me through not just this week but maybe the entire semester:

• Miss, you are a woman of many examples. (Haha, I'm not even sure what that means! :p)
• Your class is the best start of my day every TTh! (More reasons to wake up early in the morning, huh? Haha)
• I wish all teachers teach the way you do. ( :D)
• I love going to your class even if it's my last subject every MW. It's not boring =) (This one made my planner the very day I read it. And yes, the smiley is part of the message)
• You inspire me, Miss. (Need I say more?)

And just to be fair, here are some of the 'Stop' doing:

• Sometimes, you talk too fast, Miss. Please slow down. (One even said that I should be sensitive especially when they are still 'loading'. Wahaha, tsk, tsk, tsk. :p)
• Miss, you forget the time. Please stop dismissing us late. (Oops!)
• Stop making your face cruel. (Yep, exact words. Other versions include 'frowning'. :D)
• Stop doing something. (BWAHAHAHA.)
• Stop giving difficult exams, assignments and projects. (Hehe)

Well, I told them that I can guarantee that I won't be able to meet all their expectations but I will do my best to be a more effective. I promised to check on where what they want to happen and what we need to happen would meet and that's what we are going to do in class.

And with that, let me call it a day. Goodbye class. Hahaha! :)

9/365: new found love

Okaaayy. I chose not to blog yesterday because I was really tired. I did not even force myself to sleep. I lay down and poof! Haha! To make up for lost time though, I am posting two entries today! Ahaha!

The shot:

I would have taken a shot of the real thing but there's none of it left. This is a picture of a Red Ribbon White Forest Cake. Yumyum! :)

Photo taken from:http://www.sirearevalo.com/red-ribbons-new-white-forest-cakelet-there-be-white-indeed/

The story:

My father celebrated his 52nd birthday yesterday (Happy Birthday, Pa!) and my mama decided to buy this cake. As a backgrounder, let me tell you that the official birthday cake in our house is the Red Ribbon Black Forest Cake simply because it's the awesomest cake in the planet. Haha, ok. It's because it's my favorite cake. I love it so much that I don't specify any other dish on my birthday. It's a must-have on my birthday and in all other birthdays as well. Haha! But yesterday, my mama tried this one and Oh May Gulay. It was delicciioouusss. So delicious in fact that I couldn't get my fork away from it. Now, I have a dilemma. Will I let go of my first love? Haha! Oh well, I think both of them fit perfectly inside my heart... and stomach! :p

8/365: a girl who reads

A few days ago, I visited the library after its renovation. I was there to get reference books for my new lessons for the final term. I took out three books that afternoon: 1 reference book for stress management (one of my lessons for Special Topics) and the other two were self-help books... for me! I love to read. I really do. I think it is my love for it that prompted me to write. Oh well, if only I had more time in my hands right now.

The shot:

I googled 'library' today because I am feeling lazy and did not take any post-worthy pictures. I woke up at around 10am, went out to run a few errands this afternoon, attended mass (my favorite priest, Father Louie is back! Yipee! :D) and checked projects for the rest of the day. I was pondering on what to post so that I will not skip a day and I decided to share something that I've read recently instead. BTW, please forgive me for not giving credits where it is due in the past. Let me redeem myself starting with this post. I got this picture from: http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Gallery-of-the-Old-Library-Trinity-College-Dublin-County-Dublin-Eire-Ireland-Posters_i2650006_.htm

The story:

No long post today, also. Haha, I just really wanted to share this very interesting piece I read yesterday. I read a few lines from this blog that I have been following since I was in second year college. You can read the entire post by clicking the title: You should date an illiterate girl.

My favorite lines here would be:

The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold.

HAHA, is there any other way to live your life?

To the fullest it is, then. =)

7/365: kitkat. or something like that.

Ccccoooooffffeeeeee!!! :)

The shot:

This is not a new picture. I took it a few months ago at Starmart one Sunday evening when I felt I needed a break.

The story:

I forgot to take the picture that I was planning to post tonight. I lost my mind in thoughts of proving that s is an element of S ajfdsyojds;lkjisgjsdj;lskf... you get the drift. So, I looked for a picture in my phone and this got my attention. I almost forgot that I had this. Why? I need a break... and that's why this post is going to be short! Haha, the teacher is sleeping early tonight.

Thought for the day: When you feel you need a break, take one!

6/365: the only exception

The song with the same title happens to be my ring tone ever since.. uhm, ever since I downloaded it on my phone. Although that song reminds me of someone, I will never write about that someone here. Well, at least for now. =)

The shot:

Not that they are of the same level of significance to me, but this song is also perfect for my -- I mean, our pet dog. Ace. And yes, that's him over here ==>

The story:

I have a fear of dogs...a phobia I should say. It's so intense that even if the dog's just lying on the ground, I'd call someone to walk with me just to get past that scary creature that's getting in my way. A little more than a year ago, my brother persuaded my parents to adopt a puppy against my very own wishes. My brother wanted the dog so bad that I said yes as long as they kept it away from me. For the first few months, my life at home was filled with terror. That thing just kept running towards me when I arrived home from work, looking at me while I was eating and barking at me when I don't pay any attention to it.

Now, things have changed. Big time. You see, the bed in this picture happens to be mine. Haha! Even when he was just a few months old, I'd wake up screaming in the morning asking my brother why the dog was sleeping in my bed. This Ace-yot (as I fondly call him) has won my heart..after many months of getting into my bed in the middle of the night. :p I still wake up in the morning with him at the foot of my bed and FYI I am not afraid of touching him anymore! Yipee! And I enjoy hugging him, too! The only catch is that when I get home, somebody still has to hold him back. I don't think I can take his weight when he jumps at me so I let him calm down for a while before I let him come near me. He's so sweet and adorable to us. Let me repeat. To us. Haha, because this doggy bites. Two neighbors of ours got bitten already so b-e-w-a-r-e. Haha!

What's the point of my post? Well, maybe I just want to say that people do change... and though I am pretty much a rule-person, I make exceptions too. My excuse? Love. :)

5/365: everybody gets a chance

I was planning to write about something else today but I totally changed my mind after watching American Idol's Season 10 First Audition Run at New Jersey. I am not an American Idol fan really. The only season I watched religiously was the one with David Cook. Don't ask me the season number because I honestly don't remember.

For the lack of interest on the local telenovelas, I switched to channel 27 and the show just began. We (me, my mother and my younger brother) laughed our way through the episode and basing on just one show, I can say that I am loving the new set of judges. :) At the end of the two-hour show however, my mom and I got teary-eyed.

The shot:

Obviously, I did not take the picture. It shows the new set of judges and the host. I can't say anything much about this one except that this came up after I googled "American Idol Season 10".

The story:

The last audition was from a young black American who lived in the Bronx. His was a story that made us emotional. He and his family used to live in a shelter because they could not afford to live anywhere else. His story was not very different from many of those who join competitions such as this. It may be a different setting or a different dilemma but still, everybody goes through hardships that shake us up. The most striking part for me came when his dad was interviewed. Though I am not sure if I am getting the words right, I remember he said something like, "I want him to get this chance. That is what's good about America, everyone gets to have a chance. And I want you to remember that son. You... are an American." A few moments later, he gets to sing, gets three 'yes-es' and the room was filled with emotion.

Even after the credits rolled in, I can remember his father's words. The father, despite their poverty (yes, it is possible to be poor in America), their color (there was a time when people like them were largely discriminated) and condition, firmly believes that in their country, everyone is given a chance.

I hope I hear more people say that about the Philippines. I hear it from my students, from fellow teachers and from a lot of people around me irregardless of gender, status and line of work... in the Philippines, not everybody gets 'the' chance.

Call me idealistic, hopeless or blind but I still believe that in our country, people can still get the chances that they desire. The chance to win, succeed, progress, etc. It may not come in the same manner for all but it doesn't mean we ought to lose hope. I want to believe that God has given each one of us a chance to do better and be better.

I'm checking the reflections papers of my students right now. Theirs are stories I wish I could tell. Theirs are stories filled with hope for better things... even if what they see at present are dark skies. If American Idol judges take pride in playing a part in the stars' success stories, I take immense joy knowing that I am witnessing how many of my struggling-and-yet-still-hopeful students are living out their chances of getting a good education... the chances that other people around them are telling them they'll never have.

4/365: rediscovery

It's been a year of 'firsts'. Today, I declare it to be a year of 'rediscovery' too! To see what has been always there as if it was the first time. What reason? Haha, no rationalization for this one. I just feel like it. :p

The shot:

It's my brother's drawing. He drew it out of boredom. I don't know a single character and I find it a little creepy. Haha! That's okay. I think we can be a little creepy at times.

The story:

I got home and saw my brother sitting on his bed... drawing. It's been a while since I last saw him draw. It's been so long that I can't remember when. My brother's been a little idle these past few days and I can't blame him. I'm just happy I saw him doing something I know he loves. Art is my brother's thing. I once thought he was going to pursue architecture or fine arts...but life had other plans.

I grabbed one of his sketches and took a shot. My brother told me not to post this drawing. He's saying it's one of his worst. Haha.. should I agree? Nah. Not tonight. This reminds me that when we're down to almost nothing, we look around and within and realize that we still have everything we need. When we are idle, doing what others presume to be nothing... we can actually take this time to rediscover who we are, what we love and what life is all about. It's been quite a trying time for my family lately and it's not the kind of thing I feel comfortable blogging about. But we're still here. Still together. Still happy. Still very much alive. Though this entry sounds like rediscovering art, I think that these past few months, God has blessed us with the opportunity to rediscover family. Thank you, Lord. =)

december glory

from: http://angsugapub.wordpress.com/the-cnu/

3/365: the workplace

Wow, I'm actually on my 3rd day. I wonder how long I can keep this up. Haha. It rained cats and dogs this morning and I was eight minutes late for work! I hate being late. I really do. I promised I'd work on my punctuality issues this year and I hope I can do better next time... and I don't mean being seven or six minutes late. Haha.

Okay, I've been laughing since this morning. I've been in a pretty good mood since.. :p Not even the rain or my tardiness for the day can ruin my mood. Not even work! Speaking of work...

The shot:

This is the picture of the CNU Admin Building at around 7:10pm as I left the campus. I wanted to take a picture of the building last December because it did take my breath away when I first saw it but I never got the chance. Inside the building, when it's lit, you 'd see a very tall Christmas tree but it's not on tonight so it ain't visible. To the left is Rizal and to the right is a small garden. The office to the left is that of the President's while to the right is the Registrar's. The second floor used to be the Graduate School Library but now it's used as temporary classrooms. The stairs are.. well, used for getting inside the Admin Bldg. (haha) but when I was still a child, the stairs served as my playground for "land, water, air, blank" and the sides are for after-school picnics. That was a long time ago.

The story:

I'd like to think this picture is a metaphor of how I feel about my workplace. It has been a little stressful lately because of tons of work that need to be done for that event and this event and that class and this class and so on and so forth. Nevertheless, I am very happy with work right now. I have always imagined that after a long day's work, I'd lie on my bed.. tired but fulfilled. And that's how it has been. There are days when I wake up in the morning and feel excited for work. Haha, and it's not because classes are postponed. =) Don't be mistaken though. I am aware of its imperfections. I'm not looking past them. I just know that in this life, you'd never find perfection. You just have to find what makes you happy. Haha! I think my words are failing me tonight. Well, let's just put it this way... If you look at this picture closely, you'd notice that many of the Christmas lights are not lit anymore. It's far from its December glory. But when I look at it, I remember how it looked when all its lights were still lit and people took photos in front of it like it was the Terraces in Ayala. I remember that and I see this and I still think that it is as beautiful. Or maybe not... because this one is beautiful-er. :p

2/365: The Basilica

2011 is a year of many 'firsts'. As early as January, I can list about ten things that have happened to me for the first time. So... after finishing two midterm examinations, preparing my table for the final term and fighting the urge to go get a cup of coffee from that-place-i-love-but-can't-really-afford (hahaha), I decided to drop by the Basilica today. I've never visited it the day after Sinulog so this one's another first. =)

BTW, I am so in love with how the weather has been today. No rain and the breeze is ssssoooo cool. It made me want to go back to bed so many times but the pressure of deadlines kept me on my feet! Haha! Okay, back to the Basilica.

The Shot:

The Pilgrim Center Altar. I know the picture's a little blurry but being able to post it here is a miracle in itself. My phone kept complaining of 'low battery' and my camera won't work. I was contemplating on asking the woman in front of me with the qwerty camera phone to take a picture and then send it to me via bluetooth. I just wanted one picture. ONE.

Then again, I was in front of the Holy Child! So I whispered a request to Him too. Just one picture.. pleasssseee. And tada! Here it is.

The Story:

Since the start of the fiesta celebration, I have never gotten this close to the altar. I prayed for a while.. mostly for thanksgiving for the many blessings I have received and for that unexpected blessing He gave me last Saturday (yey!). I was all smiles. Reading through my entries in this blog last night made me realize that many if not most of them are depressing. If I were another person reading my own blog entries, I think I'm this pessimistic girl with a very sad life. Well, it's about time I set things straight. Haha, I am a very happy person. I am. Really. Haha, I just over-think, over-rationalize and over-react and over-act many times that I get carried away. This picture has reminded me today that we should all take time to sit at His feet. Sit at the foot of His cross and spend time with Him. It is far more 'recharging' than an entire day's sleep. Well, at least for me. You should try it.

And... another reason why I took this picture is so I can dedicate this day's entry to my number one reader, my bestfriend Maymay! Bestfriend, though you were not here to celebrate with us, I hope this picture reminds you that you are NEVER too far away.

You are in my thoughts and in my prayers. =)

Oh, by the way. I asked for one picture but guess what? I got three =) The other one has a whitish effect so it's not post-worthy but maybe I can post the other one. Haha! And this reminds me of my other bestfriend, Ryka, who always reminds me never to ask for small things from our great God. Viva Pit Señor!

To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.

-St. Thomas Aquinas

1/365: The Planner

Wow, how creative of me. Bwahaha! :p

The shot:

For day 1, it's the picture of my newly-acquired planner (points to picture)! The pics are coming from my LG phone by the way and I am not one of those people who are into photography so please be tolerant of the pictures' quality for now (excellence, excellence!). Plus, you'll know I took them if they are placed on the upper right of the entry. If not, the pics are not mine.

The story:

Before I start my day, I open my planner and pray for my intentions, dreams and to-do-list. Other than reminding me that I still have the ability to achieve my goals, short-term and/or long-term, my planner inspires me to look forward to life each day. Some people think that writing to-do-lists is overrated but for me, it's not. I think it just means that the day ahead is full of promises and even if I have much on my listS, there is always space left for surprises. I think there is nothing wrong with planning, setting goals and dreaming as long as you don't lose sight of The Goal. I hope I get my days fully-booked! Papers to check, lessons to plan, and records to submit are sure to take up some space but I hope what takes most of the space would be my dates with the people I love and my dates with the Lord. =)

According to one of my mentors, Bro. Bo Sanchez, if you don't plan your life... somebody else will. If you don't define your dreams, you might just end up chasing other people's dreams for you which may not be the dreams He has planted in your heart so go ahead.. plan! dream! work on those plans and dreams!

But, if you must fail like I do, then learn, get up and plan, dream and work again!

After all, the year has just begun.

365 days, 365 photos

Last December 2010, I decided to collect 17 stickers from Starbucks so I can get a planner. Other than being a planner-person, I wanted one because I wanted to pursue a short-term goal.

This year, I'm not sure I'm getting another planner but I decided that I am going to do a 365-day blog project for 2011. It's nothing new. I've read many blogs who do some crazy things for 365 days --- one day at a time. I said to myself that this is something I can do and I want to give it a try. For the next 365 days (364, minus today), I am going to post a picture a day of something that has inspired me. One day at a time. And then I am going to write a little about it and then that's about it. Pretty simple, huh? I think it's the commitment part that will make it a challenge. But its a me-against-me battle so it is virtually impossible to lose. HAHA!

Why am I doing this? Maybe because it's a short-term goal I can pursue. Or simply because I want to do it. Whatever it is, I need not rationalize it. So, here it goes...

our deepest fear

There's no long blog entry today.

I was looking for something inspiring to share to my students when we get back from Sinulog --- and yes, after the midterm examinations and I came across with this. I've read it a million times before and if I am not mistaken, I quoted this in The Magister when I was still EIC. These lines always get to me and if there are those who need a little push to do more, then this should do it.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Have a great week, ahead! :)

sinulog 2011

I will never forget the first time I went to see Señor Sto. Niño inside the Basilica. When I say 'see', I mean getting in line and be able to stand in front of His image inside the church. It was on the afternoon of September 26, 2009 ---the day before the first schedule of LET 2009. I was waiting for my friend Marisse in the Pilgrim Center when I realized that I have never gotten inside that small room where devotees would line up to whisper a prayer to the Holy Child. I went in and I guess the rest is history.

Ever since that afternoon, the Holy Child had a very special place in my heart. I've joined the procession and attended the novena masses many times in the past but what transpired that day (which could make up an entire entry altogether) moved me in such a way that every mass, every step in the procession and every line of Bato Balani sa Gugma became more personal. I wanted to complete the novena masses this year for His feast but I ended up two masses short. Nevertheless, this year's fiesta is still as meaningful and love-filled as ever.

I woke up early today to witness the fluvial parade but I was not able to stay long enough to see Him pass by where I was standing since I had to run to my Masters class at 8:00am. After class, I tried getting some work done in the office and then it was off to the procession with my college friends. The rain kept us a little longer at CNU but I think the delay was a blessing. We got the chance to listen to the CNU's Children's Choir tribute songs with live violin/organ accompaniment. It was a sight to behold, too! Devotees, foreign visitors and people passing by the university took time to stop, take pictures of the group and join them in their singing.

During the procession, we saw friends and students along the way. It was fun and overwhelming to get lost in a sea of devotees as we lined up and waited for the 'karo' of the Holy Child. When He passed by, I was left speechless. I was not even able to clap or shout 'Pit Señor!' right away. I was in awe of His majesty despite His very small representation. This is what the feast is truly about. It is about His love... that He loved us first and nothing we do will ever make Him love us any less. It is all about Him. =)

After that, we went to eat dinner at Mang Inasal (special mention to Jandel for paying for the drinks!). We had a fun two-truths-and-one-lie game and then Rhea, Lora and I went straight to the Basilica.

It was the very first time that I went inside the church for the pontifical mass. The shouts of the 'traditional Sinulog' song echoed through the walls and let me say it again.. overwhelming! It was raining very hard and it was hot inside the Basilica. People came from all directions and we had to squeeze our way through the crowd and we sang to our hearts content. The petitions made us laugh because we could really relate to most of them. We lost Rhea in the crowd for a while but despite the 'hardships' we had to endure, it was truly worth it. No one was complaining. We had smiles on our faces as we parted. The fiesta is, after all, a celebration of love which is evident in our lifelong friendships (thank you friends for sharing this day with me!).

I got home, took a warm bath and am now typing my way through this entry. What a day it has been and I can't help but share it. Pit Señor, everyone! Have a great Sinulog!

=)

answered prayers

Whenever I sin, commit a mistake or feel so bad about myself, I always pray to the Lord that if He wills it, He can heal me and make me better. The more I recite this prayer, the more aware I become of God's infinite grace.

I have been meaning to go to confession this week but because work ends at 6pm on MWF and 630pm on TTh, I always go to Sto. Rosario in a rush so I can get to the 7pm cut-off time. Even when the attendant tells me that I may not be able to make it, I'd wait in line and tell God if He'd only will it... I'd get to the priest on time. I didn't make it for the past two days and so I promised myself I'd wake up early today so I can make it to the 8-9 am schedule. Sadly, I got up at 8:50 AM. I felt bad about it but decided to take my chance and go to Redemptorist instead. I arrived at around 11:25am only to discover that the schedule's from 9-11am. Nevertheless, I prayed.. will it, Father.

After my Special Topics class, I rushed to Sto. Rosario to discover that there was no line and all three stations had priests! Yey! On top of that, let me just say that it was the most 'moving' confession I've ever had so far. Oftentimes, the priests there would listen to all your sins, give an advice or two, share a few reminders and then give your prayers for penance and some points to reflect on and pray for. This priest, however, asked me a question or two after each confession and in less than a minute, I found myself crying and telling the priest the things that I am going through. Of the many things we talked about, there are two things that really got to me. He told me to forgive myself and to remember that even if this is the day and age of computers and technology, I am still human so I should go and follow my heart instead of rationalizing what I feel and what I am going through all the time.

This person does not even know me but what he told me are actually things that people who know me have been telling me for quite some time now. When he said it, I felt that it was He who was saying it to me. So, I want to remember this day. I want to remember his and His words that I may change for the better.

Today is a day of answered prayers. Well, everyday is a day of answered prayers but I let many days pass without pausing to acknowledge the blessings that they truly are. Maybe God makes me wait and wait and wait for His time so that I will be more and more aware of what is missing in my life and how the world can never fill it. His blessings come everyday but because I am not aware of the voids they fill and could fill, I let them pass me by. Maybe all the trials I go through help prepare me so that when He comes, I will know that it is He.

Maybe.

And I guess I'm fine with the maybes for now. If I am wrong, then I will forgive myself. When I know that I am wrong, I must have found what is right... and I would have never found out what is right if I was not wrong. =)

Bless my broken road, Lord so that it may lead me straight to you.

blah.

I was reminded today that no matter how hard you try, you can never please everybody. Hayy. This just shows how hard-headed I am because I have been reminded of this fact again and again but I guess I have not truly learned. :(

Today is not a sad day. It has been.. well, I think the best way to describe it would be 'disturbing'. My body tells me I'm tired and my mind tells me I ought to call it a day and rest but my heart is restless tonight and I am looking for the right words to express what it wants to get across so it can calm down and let the day go.

I think a part of me just wants to shout. I want to fight. I want to complain. I want to confront. I want to demand. But whenever a thought such as this comes to me, I shut it down instantly. I am not a saint nor am I a martyr. I just think that 'that' is not who I am and if I give in to any of those emotions, I would be becoming somebody that I am not. But then again, wouldn't shutting down your emotions mean that you are not being true to yourself? Haha, I don't think I am making any sense right now but I am finishing this entry anyway. I think it's alright not to make sense at times and tonight is just one of those times.

I am wanderer lost in between leaving the dream I've always wanted and living the dream I'm afraid to want. I am happy and sad at the same time... feeling caught up in the 'in-betweens' of life. Do all twenty-one year olds feel this? Is this pre-life crisis thing real? Is this what I'm going through right now? I don't think my heart can offer me answers tonight. I just have to accept that things like 'this' happen. Haha, I can't even get myself to write what's really bothering me.

Blah, blah, blah.. blah, blah, blah.

Oh well, goodnight world!

new year? new year.

I came home late today from a meeting with AYLA-Bai. After encoding two examinations, I decided to allow myself to get lost in the internet for a while and I ended up reading through my multiply account blog entries. I remembered how I felt writing each entry and I had the urge to write one entry now.

Our clock tells me it's 12:40 AM and in a few hours, I will facing four different classes, attending a novena mass in Sto. Niño, sitting in a faculty meeting and meeting a friend after work. It is natural for me to have an entire day planned ahead even before I get out of bed. I can be a control freak at times. Though I pride myself as someone who is emotionally stable, there are times that I doubt if I truly am. But that's another issue. =)

It's 2011 and everywhere I look, I am reminded that a new year has been ushered in. Inevitably, every new year demands of me to look back on the year that 'was' and I can't help but look back with gratitude. I have changed. Circumstances have changed. The year brought me laughter, tears, successes, failures, joys, pains and all the other contradictions that one can possibly fit in a year but these things have made me who I am today and have led me where I am today. And honestly speaking, I LOVE the person that I AM and the place where I AM.

Every year is a journey and if it weren't for the 365-day rule, the day after December 31,2010 could have been just another 'tomorrow' but it wasn't. I believe it's God's way of pushing us forward... leading us on to something which is much better than what we once had. It is His reminder that we can start again... if we wanted to.

So today, I say welcome 2011! (hang-over from the welcome video we did for AYLC 2011) And instead of me being ready for the year, I dare say... watch out 2011, here I come! =)