11/365: hey there, bright side!

The story:

For the past few days, I have not been feeling well. Fever is just around the corner waiting for the next day that sleep proves to be scarce again. Not only that, a lot of mixed emotions about a lot of things have been bothering me. Today, I did not feel like going to school and I did not want to work on anything listed down on my "to-do" list but decided against the feelings anyway.

As I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. But as soon as I entered the door, my mama told me it's my inaanak's birthday (and I forgot to buy a present) and we were invited to eat dinner at their house. My inaanak is the daughter of my closest friend in our neighborhood. Both of them have a very special place in my heart. Dinner at their house reminded me why I chose to wait for the right time and the right person instead of just hopping on with the trend of textmates and blind dates that parade society today. I'd rather be single than be an unfit wife and an irresponsible mother. I never understood what my friend saw in that guy who happened to be her child's father. She didn't deserve him. I wish she was with someone better...someone who would treat her better...someone who would strive to be better for her and for their child. I am in no position to make judgments because I have my own share of imperfections too. I just pray that he grows up soon enough to see that life has given him a family worth striving for. I felt sad for him for I felt that he didn't see the great blessings he has right in front of him.

At the same time, I felt a little sad for myself too. Like him, I have been acting ungrateful. I have been overlooking the wonderful blessings the Lord has graciously filled my life despite my shortcomings. True enough, God is never late for that needed reminder.

As soon as I got home, I received news that my cousin, Jae, just passed the December 2010 Nursing Licensure Exam! Wohoo! We've got an RN in the family and it felt so great! In reflection though, I think it'd be greater if it didn't take the board exam results for me to remember that God is good all the time.. and that His plans are ALWAYS better than that of our own. Thank you, Father. <3

P.S. And I hope it's not too late... Happy Valentine's Day, world! =)

P.S. 2: The shot:http://marinshe.deviantart.com/art/The-Bright-Side-of-Life-118961703

just because.

The funny thing about keeping a blog is that you don't really know if other people are reading it or not. Haha, and it'd be crazy if you are keeping a blog and hope that no one reads it because heeelllooo, it's in the world wide web. Haha! Irregardless of all of that, I have been reading one blog very recently that has inspired me to just write about what I want to write just because I want to write it. So, here it goes.

I hate Valentine's Day 2011. Hate, I was told, is a very strong word to use but I can't find a word that would mean as much as it does. ( I am thinking of 'despise' but I think that word is stronger. Haha).

Why?

Because I am bitter.

Haha! And for the first time ever, I am admitting that I am bitter about the whole Valentine's Day celebration. Especially this year's Valentine's Day and I am even going to elaborate on that! Why? Because I can, I want to and the person I don't want to know about it will surely never get to read this!

I hate it because it reminds me of all the other celebrations that kept me hoping that when I'm done with college and I'm done being 'responsible', it'd finally come. But it still hasn't.

I hate it because everybody is telling me that it's fun to be single but it has finally come to a point that it isn't anymore! Haha! OR mass media and all the chick flicks that I watch are getting to me.

I hate it because of this one specific person who for the first time in my entire existence has finally made me say the words I promised I'd never be caught saying to a guy. And after all that I have put myself through, I have come to realize that indeed, we are just friends. WAH...

And I can't believe I am being a drama queen for this. Haha, someday.. when I am older and more mature, I will look back, read this entry and laugh at myself for being so.. so.. naive? bitter? desperate? Haha. Now, that's an idea worth holding on to.

Wow, writing those words did make me feel better. I look back and I have no regrets. Haha, maybe this how the whole "growing up" thing works. It's suppose to push you through your pre-defined limits so you will know that they were never really your limits. If I can wait for twenty-one years, I think I can wait for a couple more, right?

I am not sure how long it will take me to get over this time around by I am sure that if it is not meant to be, I will get over it somehow. This whole thing also tells me that there is much growing up to do. So, growing up it is then...

BTW, to YOU: Thank you for being honest and for not making me believe in things that are never there in the first place. Although what I feel for you has caused me much pain, all of it is actually self-inflicted. Haha, so.. I don't hate you. If anything, I am only thankful. Let's be friends. We are definitely great that way.