Forever or never

This is one of those posts that I did not plan to write but end up writing. I just got home from Tuburan after bonding with my mama's side of the family and ended up looking through my emails and facebook updates. I had a bit of time left so I went through my favorite blogs and websites just to check if there was anything new. One of my favorite things to do when I have free time is watch wedding SDEs. My favorite wedding videographer is no less than Jason Magbanua. I go to his site every now and then to watch his videos and more often than not, I find myself crying over them. Yes, one of my favorite leisure time activities involves crying. :p

Kidding aside, I went to his site and saw that no new video has been added so I watched two of my many favorite videos again just for the 'fun' of it. And yes, I ended up crying again. You see, I am a big believer of 'forever' and 'till death do us part. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, the beauty of a wedding with family and friends gathered together and the miracle of love. I always pray for those things to come to me. In my twenty three years (and counting) of waiting for 'the one', I have often been tempted to settle... settle for short-term kilig-kiligs and MUs that some people may call 'harmless'. But, I thank God for giving me the grace to choose to wait. It has been very difficult and I have judged for myself that I have not been doing a good job at it as of late but I am still struggling and walking that road.

I think we get into those kind of relationships with the knowledge that you two are trying to see if you were built for marriage (feel free to blame Joshua Harris for this idea). In my moments of weakness, I watch wedding videos. Hahaha! And I say to myself, 'That's the kind of love I am waiting for!'. And in the deepest corner of my heart, a voice whispers that THAT is the kind of love I deserve. I think we all deserve that kind of love. The kind that makes you feel that you will always have a place to run home to when the rest of the world just feels like it's falling apart. The kind that brings out the best in you. I could go on and on but really, I just think we deserve to be loved the way Jesus loves us.

So, the waiting continues. I will do what I can and be the best person I can be while I am at it. I am truly hopeful that when he comes, I will be ready to meet him and that we will be ready for the journey to forever. =)