seven years

Today, I celebrate my seventh year as a YFC. It has been seven years since my Youth Camp in Science High. Seven years since I started this journey with the Lord. Seven years of ups and downs. Seven years of mercy and grace. Seven years of love.

I got out of bed at past nine in the morning, ate breakfast and finished an invitation I was asked to put together. After lunch, I prepared for a talk which I will give to a group of fresh youth camp graduates for their covenant orientation. After my talk at Basak, I went to withdraw some money for my mom, bought discounted bread at SM French Baker, got home and prepared for my classes for the week.

As I try to end my day, I look back at today and see that nothing I've done is really out-of-this-world. It could have been just another Monday. I ended up asking myself the question, where has seven years taken me? I am not proud of the fact that I still sin and for a moment there, I think I have not really changed at all. But somewhere deep in my mind, a tiny voice is whispering that I should stop looking at my life as something that centers on me. Ako, ako.. lagi nalang ako, as a famous commercial would say. I think my self-centeredness is the cause of my depression... but that would be another issue. :)

If it's not about me, then who is it about anyway? Hehe, it is and always will be about God.

I changed the question. Where has God been through me in the past seven years? Ah.. I can't help but smile. The Lord has truly been gracious and merciful to me. He has done great things in my life... things I will never deserve. And for that, I am grateful. The Lord has been faithful despite my unfaithfulness to Him. Forgive me and thank You, Father.

Today is not like any other Monday. Today is the Lord's Monday with me remembering our seven-year journey since I consciously made the decision to walk with Him. It may not be about me but because it is about Him, He reminds me that He is all about His love for me. I am His daughter and His plans will always be FOR me and never against me even if I don't understand them. Life has never been the same and I guess... it shall never be.

For teaching me faithfulness by example, thank You, Rabboni.

never outdone

I didn't bring Wade to the Faculty Room yesterday and that means I wasn't able to blog about anything yesterday. Nevertheless, I will make up for it today!

Last Friday, I traveled to Argao with some of my college friends to attend the funeral of Michelle Nasibog who is scheduled to be buried the following day. We shared jokes as we saw each other for the first time since school ended. But, when we got to Michelle's house, most of us were crying. Some are fighting back the tears. After seeing her in her coffin, we all took a seat as we watched a video tribute made by Aline for her. Our eyes were filled with tears as college memories flashed in front of us. I sobbed when we got to the last part where a video clip of Michelle smiling and waving was inserted. She looked so alive there and yet a few feet away, her body laid quietly in a rectangular box chosen for her.

As I cried, a large dew fell down from the tree whose leaves were right above me. At that moment, I heard God tell me that He is, at that moment, crying with me. Crying with us. Though Michelle is on her journey home, I believe God feels our sadness as we let her go. God can never be outdone in love. It was a great comfort to be reminded that He is STILL the Director of Life despite the sadness that filled our gathering that night.

We did not sleep for the entire time we were there. First, we went inside for the second time as a class and prayed for her. I don't know why but during funerals involving my classmates, I was always asked to lead the prayer. And so, I did. My prayer was short and simple.

Lord, wala mi kabaw ug nganong nauna si Michelle namo. Wa mi kasabot ug ngano gikuha Nimo siya kalit gikan kanamo. Pero, nagtuo mi sa Imong Gugma na labaw sa tanan. Nagatuo kami na ang tanang panghitabo kay nahiuyon lang sa Imong maanindot na plano para namong tanan. Among giampo na imo pasayluon si Michelle sa tanan niyang mga sala. Imo unta siyang dawaton sa langit para mahiuban nimo hangtod sa kahangturan. Bisan ug wala mi kasabot, nangayo kami sa Imong pag-giya ug kusog na maynta kami ug ang iyang pamilya makadawat na wala na jud siya kuyog namo diri sa kalibutan. Tagaan Mo unta kami ug kusog para muatubang aning panghitabua. (Silence for personal intentions and messages) Michelle, iampo mo kaming nahabilin pa ngari. Let us pray...  

We spent the rest of night eating and talking about school, our classrooms, our teaching experiences believe it or not, the upcoming elections. The gathering, though sad, was filled with much love. We were reminded of how short life is and how we all need to spend some time to be with those whom we love before it is too late. I went home tired that day but I know that there are people who are fighting harder battles than I am.

In spite and despite all these, I rest. I rest knowing that the Lord can never be outdone in love and His plans are far greater than ours.