I have been listening to Harry Potter audio books lately. I'm on Book 5 Chapter 35 already. It's blaring right now out of my laptop while I am typing this entry. I've been trying to distract myself from things that were distracting me these past few days. Am I making sense? Well, I don't think so. So that's the best description of me right now... distracted.
I have tons of papers to check, grades to compute, students and classes to manage for school work. Personal concerns are not helping me get these things in row. The desire of trying to become a better person has been lessened quite a bit. Just lost a lot of motivation to pursue it. But maybe this is the purpose of this task. I just need to breathe a while. I want nothing but a day of rest too.
Yesterday, while I reached an almost-breaking-point, I attended a mass at Sto. Rosario and the first reading struck me. It was a letter from Paul to the Philippians. I remember that line about forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to the path laid out by the Lord towards Him. I think it was got me through that day. The knowledge that there is tomorrow to look forward to. Maybe tomorrow is going to be better. Maybe tomorrow, all of these things will make sense. Well, I KNOW these things but there are just days when knowing just isn't enough. I needed to BELIEVE again. Believe in the greatness within me. Believe in the plans He has for me. Believe in myself. Believe in those around me. Believe in love. Believe in His love.
I hope that I will be able to finish all my ten "tasks" for kindness and catch up with the other tasks too. More than that, however, I wish I could get my life in order too.
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