blah.

I was reminded today that no matter how hard you try, you can never please everybody. Hayy. This just shows how hard-headed I am because I have been reminded of this fact again and again but I guess I have not truly learned. :(

Today is not a sad day. It has been.. well, I think the best way to describe it would be 'disturbing'. My body tells me I'm tired and my mind tells me I ought to call it a day and rest but my heart is restless tonight and I am looking for the right words to express what it wants to get across so it can calm down and let the day go.

I think a part of me just wants to shout. I want to fight. I want to complain. I want to confront. I want to demand. But whenever a thought such as this comes to me, I shut it down instantly. I am not a saint nor am I a martyr. I just think that 'that' is not who I am and if I give in to any of those emotions, I would be becoming somebody that I am not. But then again, wouldn't shutting down your emotions mean that you are not being true to yourself? Haha, I don't think I am making any sense right now but I am finishing this entry anyway. I think it's alright not to make sense at times and tonight is just one of those times.

I am wanderer lost in between leaving the dream I've always wanted and living the dream I'm afraid to want. I am happy and sad at the same time... feeling caught up in the 'in-betweens' of life. Do all twenty-one year olds feel this? Is this pre-life crisis thing real? Is this what I'm going through right now? I don't think my heart can offer me answers tonight. I just have to accept that things like 'this' happen. Haha, I can't even get myself to write what's really bothering me.

Blah, blah, blah.. blah, blah, blah.

Oh well, goodnight world!